This is the worst trip I've ever been on.

Things are going to be a bit quieter here over the next week or so as I'll be on vacation, a Pacific coast trip anchored by TFC games in Seattle and Chivas.  With away games on my mind, this is the first of what will be a semi regular feature of top 5's, based on the whole "long suffering fan" experience.  These are my worst away games, in chronological order, feel free to add your own.

Top 5 worst away game trips.

May 1989, Scunthorpe 5-1 Darlington.

My second season following Darlington really wasn't a good one, down near the bottom of the league all season, firing the manager improved things a bit but not much, and we went into this game, the penultimate of the season, needing to win to have a chance of avoiding relegation to non-league status.  Things didn't go well, and by halfway through the second half it was all over.  A fabulous long range goal from Paul "Jimmy's brother" Willis a mere consolation.

But it wasn't really about the game, it was more about what happened on the terraces.  Hundreds of Darlo fans had made the trip, and there were quite a few tears (I was 13, but many older and tougher looking men were crying as well).  The last 30 minutes or so were filled with chants of "we love you darlo, we do" and "we'll support you ever more", and after the team had gone back to the dressing room, the fans didn't leave instead ludicrously singing "bring out the champions" until the team returned, shirts were thrown into the crowd, only the security fence stopped a full on pitch invasion and lovefest.

The fans showed their wisdom as well, with chants of "Brian must stay" referring to our new manager Brian Little.  Fortunately the chairman listened, as he was kept on and led Darlington to 2 successive championships and promotions before leaving for a bigger club.  But that was all in the future, all that remained at the time was a gloomy car ride home and the sinking realisation of what I'd let myself in for.

February 1990, Runcorn 2-1 Darlington

Darlo's season in the Vauxhall Conference was on the whole a very enjoyable one, with a lot of really good away games, but there were a few where the downside of the "non-league" thing really hit me.  There was Northwich, who with the help of an allegedly fixed referee, kicked the crap out of us, ending one player's career and badly injuring our goalie, on the way to a 1-0 win, also Barrow on new years day where torrential rain inspired Darlo fans to donate heavily towards the "new roof fund".

The worst game/ground/town from that year though would have to be Runcorn.  Now it's quite possible that Runcorn is actually a delightful town (I'd be a lot of money that it isn't, but I guess it's possible)but when Darlo played there it was a cold wet Tuesday night in February, we arrived in darkness and though maybe it's my memory playing tricks on me, it seemed like the ground was at the bottom of a hill, overlooked by some industrial/chemical factory, very picturesque.  It was absolutely freezing that night, the kind of night where you buy a cup of scaldingly hot Bovril just to keep your hands warm.  The game was one of the worst we played that seaon, giving very little excitement to keep the fans warm on the "terrace" which was little more than a grass bank, ending in a 2-1 defeat and a thoroughly miserable ride home.  I still shudder just at the mention of the word Runcorn.

May 1996 Plymouth 1-0 Darlington.


This really shouldn't be in here at all, a) it wasn't technically an away game, it was a neutral venue and b) that neutral venure was Wembley stadium for the division 3 playoff final, but anyway, here it is.

The 1995-96 season was a very good one for Darlington, featuring future stars who'd come up from the youth team like Sean Gregan and Robbie Blake, and going into the last game of the season, they knew a win would give them automatic promotion.  That last game was Scunthorpe away, and as is always the case with Scunthorpe away, it went wrong, a 3-3 draw meaning they fell into the playoffs for the remaining promotion spot.  They beat Hereford in the semi final and so were on their way to the final and their first ever Wembley appearance.

Problem is, this came 2 months after I moved to Toronto.  With financial help from my parents, I hurriedly made the ridiculously last minute and complicated travel arrangements and eventually embarked, an overnight Toronto to Manchester flight got me to England on the Friday morning, followed by the trip down to London on Saturday morning.  After the game, a tube ride to the bus station, then a bus to Dover, ferry to Calais, bus to Paris and a taxi to the airport for the flight home, arriving late Sunday morning. 

That's where things got interesting, I'd made it all this way without noticing that the flight home was actually booked for Monday, not Sunday as I swear to this day the travel agent told me.  So now I was stuck in a very small terminal with barely any money, and a bag full of galaxy bars I'd bought for one of my roommates.  I decided to rely on the galaxy bars for sustenance so spent the last of my money on a magazine to stave off boredom, and it was a nice day so I went to lie on a grass bank outside the terminal, where I soon fell asleep in the sun.

Next thing I know I'm woken up by airport security with guns lazily pointing in my direction, interrogating me in french and letting me know they'd prefer it if I went back inside to wait, which I did.  I then had a very dull day, and a terrible nights sleep on a very uncomfortable bench, before the 10 hour flight back to Toronto.

The game, oh yeah, we lost 1-0.

October 2009, New York 5-0 Toronto.

My first and to date only TFC away game and the last game of the season, what could be better than a weekend in New York, combined with seeing the boys make history by clinching the team's first ever playoff spot.

The weekend in New York was great, and the timing worked out nicely for us to be able to see Leonard Cohen at Madison Square Garden, then saturday came around, and the game.  Torrential rain meant I was drenched just from the 5 minute walk from the bus stop into the stadium, as well as leaving puddles all over the plastic pitch.  The beer options were Bud and Bud Light., but oh well, we were playing the worst team in the league, what could go wrong.

Two minutes in, and New York scored on their first shot.  Looking at the highlights again, and I'm surprised by how well TFC played and how many chances they got over the next 30 minutes or so, (right until Chad Barrett went off with an injury, I'm telling you, MVP) but we didn't score, then they did on their 2nd shot, and it was 2-0 at half time.  Any modicum of hope was snuffed out with a 3rd goal after 62 minutes, at which the point the hunderds of TFC fans there turned quite surly, and basically an injury time penalty that made it 5-0 and officially TFC's worst ever defeat was just the icing on the cake.  Post game recriminations included talk of bad apples in the dressing room and the coach quitting, but GM Mo Johnston staying and eventually hiring Preki as the new coach.  Things could only get better from there right?

December 2009/January 2010, Winter 4-0 Duncan

My previous trips home have all been timed to coincide with either the end or the beginning of the football season to be able to fit in a couple of games, but this was my first trip back home for  Christmas.  Darlington were clearly going to be relegated back to non-league status, and going completely out of business wasn't out of the question, so I really wanted to see one last game, in a way a passing of the torch to TFC being considered my main team.  After living in Toronto, I tend to snort with derision at the thought of a bad winter in England, so it didn't even occur to me that there might be a problem seeing a  game, especially with the traditional busy schedule of games. 

4 possible games I could have gone to.  4 postponements.  Burn.  The ironic part of it is that Darlington's fancy white elephant of a stadium actually has undersoil heating, they just can't afford to run it.

So there they are, I was going to end this with some sort of warning that TFC fans should be very afraid that my presence at the next 2 away games would guarantee defeats and maybe end up costing us the playoffs, but, erm, yeah, no need to worry about that any more is there!