As you may be aware, in advance of the MLS Cup in Toronto, MLS had all the former TFC players involved do a little promo, to encourage Toronto fans to attend. Marvell Wynne's did actually see the light of day, and you can see the transcript of Jeff Cunningham's less successful attempt here. In another Cruel Geography exclusive, here's the details of the never to be seen Conor Casey promo.
Scene: Inside the Rapids media room, Conor Casey stands in front of a big MLS Cup advertising board and waits for the cameraman to give him the go ahead.
Casey: Me,me,me,me,me,meeee. La,la,la,la,la,laaaaa. Nope.
Casey extravagantly clears his throat, does his 'lemon-face, lion-face' routine, takes a deep breath and starts again.
Casey: Me,me,me,me,meeee. La,la,la,la,la,laaaaaa. Alright, that's much better. How's my make up looking? My head's not too shiny?
Off-screen, a bored looking Rapids pr guy gives him a thumbs up.
Casey: What's this for anyway? MLS Cup? Cool. We ready to go?
The Cameraman nods and starts counting down, 5, 4, 3...
Casey: Alright, roll the autocue.... Hi, what's up Toronto! This is Conor Casey of the Colorado Rapids, formerly of TFC, and I'm really excited to be coming back to BMO field for.....Wait, this is for Toronto? Fuck that!
Casey turns away and starts struggling to remove his mike, and starts talking to the pr guy off screen who is inaudible.
Casey: I don't care!.......Fuck Toronto! (turns back to camera, and gives screen the finger) Fuck you Toronto!......What?........I don't know, have Garber give them some allocation money, Get Joseph Fucking Lapira to do it, or Riley O'Neill. I don't care, I'm out. Why can't we play this thing in the States?
Casey successfully removes his mike and storms off, the camera swings round to a now stunned looking and speechless Rapids pr guy, who makes a throat slitting gesture and the screen goes dead.
Fin
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