By now you've probably seen Marvell Wynne's video asking Toronto fans to come out and support him and the Rapids on Sunday. It's come to light that MLS asked all the former TFC players to make such videos to inspire Torontonians to brave the cold November night and cheer them on. The others didn't see the light of day for reasons which will soon be obvious, but fortunately, before the tapes were burnt, an MLS mole leaked the transcripts to Cruel Geography, which I'll faithfuly reprint here.
Jeff Cunningham's MLS Cup message to Toronto.
Scene: FC Dallas training ground, various players and coaches go through the motions in the background as Jeff prepares to give his message.
Cunningham: Hey Toronto, what's up? This is Jeff Cunningham, formerly number 96 with TFC.
Off Screen: boooo!
Cunningham: I wore 96 as that was how many goals I'd scored at the time, I scored a lot of goals before I was at TFC, and since leaving, I've scored a bunch more...
Off Screen: booooo!
Cunningham: what? erm, okaaaay. Anyway, I'm now the second highest all time scorer in MLS, I know you're all real proud of me.
Off Screen: boooooooooooo!
Cunningham: What the hell? I've told everyone what great fans you are, and from my own experience, I know how much you love to see other teams raise trophies at BMO Field.
Off Screen: booooooooooooooooooo!
Out of nowhere a red streamer flies into the shot and hits Jeff on the head.
Cunningham: Ow! Do I have to keep going with this? Seriously? (sigh) alright. I hope you're all going to cheer for me and Dallas and paint BMO blue...
Jeff dodges another streamer, and a quarter full plastic beer cup.
...and I can't wait to come back to Toronto to see you all again, and score the goals that will win us the MLS cup.
FC Dallas coach Schellas Hyndman walks by
Hyndman: You do know you'll be on the bench all game, right Jeff?
Cunningham: What? Aw, c'mooooon. Did you have to tell me now? you know what? screw this!
Jeff walks away angrily shaking his head, narrowly avoiding a flying poutine.
Fin
When reached for comment, former TFC coach John Carver said "You want my honest opinion on that? I am thinking, ‘How has he done hundreds of interviews?’ That’s what I thought.’"
"If you’re a star player and you have got desire to promote the game, no matter how you finish the piece, you finish the piece," Carver concluded, rubbing his temples in frustration.
Next, Conor Casey's MLS Cup message to Toronto
they must have cut the part where Cunningham claims he's the one who started 'shirts off' after goals at BMO, not Gargan. oh right, Cunningham's was offside...
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